Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize