I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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