He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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