fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
