I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
