Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm bleeding and have questions
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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