Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
