He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
