i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
