Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I have feelings that need drinking.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
