I love black thongs
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
