I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
