i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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