you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
