So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
