come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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