So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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