Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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