had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
