is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
