I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
