I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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