Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
