nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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