we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
