if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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