already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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