I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I look better un-naked...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
