i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I looked at my own cervix.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
