dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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