Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
