I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
