exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It was confusing and full of hummus
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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