carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
