He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
