PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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