i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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