Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
