We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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