talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
