I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize