He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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