So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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