You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
