; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
