Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize