I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
