I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize