Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Boobs are out for the taking
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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