You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
