Barsexuality is the new black.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
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