I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
