The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
