It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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