Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
