I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
