yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
