Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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